Monday, April 9, 2012

Battleworld - Horde Design Notes

Battleworld Design Notes - Horde Individual Characters and Units


King Aliester Bertrand

Age: 45
Ht: 5'9"
Wt: 160 lbs.
B/W/H: Sexy/Manly/Duuuuude.
Hand: Fighting - Right.  Sex - Ambidextrous.
Eyes: Purple
Skin: Pale, lightly blue pigment
Hair: Depends on his mood.  Either short or really long, but either way a lustrously black, that kinda black that almost borders on dark blue.
Musculature: He's actually somewhat slim and lithe, yet he has shown surprising bursts of strength.  This is due in part to the Necromorph transmogrification, but it's been noted that he's been physically strong ever since he began to come into his own.

Demeanor: Pretty much all the Horde follow in his footsteps in wordplay, twisting just about any situation or phrase into a double (if not triple) entendre.  Walking sexpots, the Horde (generally speaking) live to charm and to seduce. Al is no different, seemingly as flippant as even the most experienced succubus, yet he's fiercely loyal to those who have earned his trust.

Also hidden behind that easy smile of his is a necromantic genius, one of the founding creators behind the Necromorphic Transmogrification and the resultant sciences behind it, not to mention the byproducts that have benefited the Goblin King himself.

Ultimately he's a bright genius who likes to come off as dim and playful, while at the same time he really is a dim and playful playboy who eagerly devours sex as easily as he does decadent foods.

Description: Liquid sex poured into a graceful form, King Al has been groomed for leadership ever since he was born.  He has also exceeded all expectations of him, even impressing The Beauty herself, a woman who has experienced so much in her long life that she's actually bored with quite a bit.

It's often said that a Horde person is at their most dangerous after being vanquished.  Subjugation only turns them on and, invariably, they figure out ways to worm their sensual desires into their conqueror, feeding on their soul and energy until they're drained dry, a veritable slave to the whims of the Horde person.

Because of this, no matter how willing the Horde actually is to ally with others, they're always viewed with outright distrust and speculation.  To make matters worse, his own people have been incredibly vocal that he should stop straying from proper Horde lovers and simply be happy with his Queen, the Harem, and everyone else he's put his penis in.

For a short while he was downright vicious in his decision to chase after the stubborn yet beloved Makiko Kraze, even to the point where he stopped sleeping with everyone until, one day and seemingly out of the blue, he capitulated and calmed down (relieved sighs EVERYWHERE at a civil war averted), though to this day he refuses to say why he did.

Though he loves Mama Loa and his citizens truly, one can only guess at his motives when it comes to Makiko Kraze and whether or not things will still once again boil to the point of civil war.

For true love, he would do no less.

Dog Breath

Age: 2 in mortal years, 24 in dog years.
Ht: 6'5"/7' (in Werewolf Mode)
Wt: 250 lbs./400 lbs.
B/W/H: Thick/trim/spring-like
Hand: Left
Eyes: Violet/Red (in Werewolf Mode)
Skin: Pale, almost blueish (in werewolf mode he has pitch-black fur)
Hair: Jet black and lustrously long
Musculature: Incredibly balanced with a powerful torso, his limbs have been described as tree trunks, and his body fat content is damn near 0.  Aesthetically speaking, he's completely perfect yet it's a body that's designed for battle as well as aesthetics - think "nullboxers" from the Gorgon's Child books.  His body can handle incredibly torque, zero-g fighting, and can perform super-human feats of gracefully muscular acrobatics.

Demeanor: Tries to come off as stern and serious, but can easily be distracted and is actually pretty quick to both happiness as he is to violence.  He still has moments of contemplative silence and unlike his tweaky twin sister he can meditate fairly well for a few hours at a time, a skill that has taken him long to acquire but useful in his usual job as a male model.

Description: Dog Breath and his twin sister Cat Butt are the result of the necromantic sciences that begat the Necromorph Transmogrification itself.  As an experiment, he is amongst the first wave (and most successful) of those who underwent transmogrification, having been a Necromorph from birth.  As a friend, he's intensely loyal to King Al, viewing him as the older brother he's never had.

As he grows older, Dog continues to grow in strength and speed, constantly seeking to improve his abilities and ever to be a proud Hordeman and friend to Al.

Outside of battle, he usually stays in his humanoid-zombie form, but in combat he immediately goes into Werewolf mode, gaining all bonuses from that zombie type.

Like all Horde members he's incredibly skilled at seduction and sexual pursuits, but views them secondary to his martial pursuits.

In Werewolf mode he grows claws, tough fur over his body, his muscle mass (especially the rib cage and back muscles) double in density and size, and his hands and feet grow larger.  Strangely enough, all Werewolves are double-jointed at the knees, able to maneuver as a normal human or as an extended foot.

Cat Butt

Age: 2 in mortal years, 28 in cat years.
Ht: 5'5"/6'0"
Wt: >moves to fast to be weighed, and can be quite violent if asked<
B/W/H: 35/24/35 (increases in Werecat mode)
Hand: Right
Eyes: Dark purple/Red
Skin: Pale blue with a rosy tint/ darkens slightly at her shoulders, back and underside.
Hair: Blonde/White at the tail, hands, feet and at her whiskers.
Demeanor: Is prone to fidgeting, always moving, will sometimes simply lay down and sleep wherever she wills.  Can become possessive at times, and is as flexible as an acrobat.  Is normally playful and can even joke around on the battlefield.  Extremely loyal to those she claims are hers, and is the only known person who honestly believes that every single member of the Horde belongs to her (with King Al's consent nonetheless).

Description: Audacious in her beliefs and irrepressibly cute, Cat Butt is nevertheless an excellent warrior who uses her obscene speed and movement ability to her advantage.  Unlike her more serious brother, Cat Butt has absolutely no desire to think about the future and simply loafs about the court.  Is sometimes a member of the Harem.

It's said that Cat Butt is only ever serious about sex, sleeping, eating, and fighting.  There might be some truth to that.

Like all Weres, she goes into Werecat mode before entering battle, her hands, feet, and head hair becoming larger and hairier, also gaining a tail.  Unlike a werewolf though, werecats actually grow slightly thinner and can become insanely flexible.

Enjoys all sibling bonuses with not only her brother but also King Al as well, though Dog Breath doesn't.

Upon being added to The Harem, gives them an immediate bonus to their movement and speed.

The Beauty

Age ???
Ht: 5'0"
B/W/H: 36/24/36
Hand: Ambidextrous
Eyes: Purple
Skin: Pale, lightly blue pigment
Hair: Length depends on her mood.  Either short or really long, but either way a strawberry blonde, a bit more strawberry than blonde.
Musculature: Though she seems slim and beautifully female, it's been noted that her hand-to-hand and weaponshandling is superb not just for its' grace but for her surprisingly physical strength.  It's also been said that her incredibly physicality stems entirely from her sexual prowess, and much like other Horde members she sometimes cannot discern one from the other.

Her sheer physical prowess (second to her magical abilities)  is such that she has cowed battle-hardened warrior vets with heavier musculature than her own.  It doesn't help that she's amongst the oldest beings in Battleworld either, and she herself a battle-hardened warrior veteran with thousands of successful skirmishes and battles under her belt.

Demeanor: The Horde are supreme lovers, not only in a physical and spiritual sense (especially the romantic and biblical sense) but above all of secrets.  Secret information, technology, magical techniques, special attacks - the more secretive the more turned-on and interested a Horde member can become.

The Beauty (her very name a secret) is indeed one of the greatest hoarder of secrets, and has only ever shared them fully with two men: King Al and his many-times ancestor.  It's from those secrets that the insanely powerful Necromorph technology came about (an old ritual, but only realized with Al's necromantic genius), and also from those secrets that the Horde has ever kept their much-stronger enemies at bay.

Playful yet smokingly hot, her every move is pretty much calculated, liquid sex.

Description: The Beauty is a figure of legend from a time when epic legends were commonplace.  Today she's one of the few surviving relics, though none would call her that - as a warrior, she is queen of the battlefield.  As a lover, there are exceedingly few who can live up to her expectations.  As a figure of power, there are few who can openly stand against her will and whims.

Altogether, The Beauty is a force of nature in Battleworld, and it shows as ancient enemies and allies alike both pay her the dues she deserves.

It's only when she meets the brutal force of the Krieg Army, greater than anything she has ever witnessed, does she find herself falling under someone else's charm...

Improves the Harem's offensive capabilities upon being added.

Corpse Courier

Age 20
Ht: She's like a giant Cadillac made of corpses.
Wt: She's run over every single census taker to try and find out.  Even as a car she keeps up the Feminine Conspiracy.
B/W/H: She has multiples of all three.
Hand: She multiples of both, and it's been noted that she seems to like the left ones more.
Eyes: The face that's inset within the grill has purple eyes.
Skin: Strangely enough for a necromorph, the flesh of the corpses that make up her body are all a healthy pink color.
Hair: Oh jesus, what?
Musculature: She's pretty much pure muscle.  She's a fucking car. you get it?  Muscle car?  Eh, fuck you, that's funny.

Demeanor:  Corpse Courier is incredibly loyal to Al, The Beauty, and her friends amongst the high council.  She's a valued member of the team, for all that she has NO way to really communicate beyond a strange kind of "body language."  Apparently can communicate with Handjob, though no one knows how.

Has moments of wanting to be cute (and indeed, the main face that's set in the grill DOES have a cuteness to it), but ultimately appears to be a fierce warrior and a powerful vehicle.

Description: Fiercely loyal, powerful, strong, and a real monster amongst monsters.  She has excellent stats, has the highest mobility of all the Horde high council, and is the only one able to carry Mother here and there.  Unlike other Horde members though, her defense is slightly crappy and she doesn't benefit from any of the Charisma bonuses the others do.

Her Necromorph ability changes the skin color of the corpses that comprises her body into a reddish-purple, and flames burst out of her headlights and tires.  She also leaves behind a burning trail behind her that harms any that come into contact with it for a few rounds.

There seems to be a story that lays between her and Al, and but none of the higher council members will ever talk about it.  It's generally accepted that her fierce loyalty towards Al and the Horde in general are beyond doubt, and her abilities speak for themselves...I mean, she's a fuckin' car.


Age 1
Ht: 6'5"
Wt: >the census taker was torn apart and has been replaced by a new one<
B/W/H: (has two sets of breasts) 38, 28/18/24
Hand: Which one?
Eyes: Violet.
Skin: Pale, blueish
Hair: Long and a sheen so dark it's almost blue.
Musculature: Long-limbed, densely muscled especially at the shoulders and the two long, praying-mantis like arms on her back.

Demeanor: Despite her freakish nature, she's genuinely happy and even charming in her own way.  She was made to be a particular breed of sex slave, but took it upon herself to toughen up and become a weapon of war in the name of the Bertrand bloodline and the Horde.

It's been noted that this was actually done against King Al's wishes, but a long and lengthy discussion somehow changed his mind.

Handjob can be quite stubborn when she wants to, and despite the fact that she lacks the ability to make speech she still manages to talk more than anyone else through sign language.  Incredibly fast and incredibly effective sign language.

Out of all the Horde, she's the only one who can talk to the Mother and Corpse Courier clearly.  It's been stated that a tea party with all three can be...."Interesting."

In battle she can be downright bloodthirsty, and won't hesitate to take advantage of weaker enemies.

Her arms end at the wrist in two more arms with hands on each one, as do her feet at the ankles, and two incredibly long and powerful arms at her back (at the shoulder blades) which, upon being unfurled completely, can strike at airborne enemies.


Counted as one of the strangest of the Necromorph experiments, Handjob can actually be quite cute and even adorable despite her appearance.  She WAS designed to be a sex slave, and it shows in her movement and deft, agile workings, a virtuoso at stringed instruments and her own strange crooning.  An artist of multiple media as well as a dancer, she nevertheless gave up her beloved art when she took it upon herself to become a warrior, able to wield more weapons than anyone else, move better and even engage airborne enemies with melee attacks, becoming an extremely violent and offensive-based warrior during battle in the process.

She has sworn an oath to once again take up her softer professions after peace has come to Battleworld, her kind heart only reserved for her closest beloveds and friends.

Can be added to The Harem in order to improve the unit's mobility and grant them anti-air capability.

Mama Loa (once Melisande Grim)

Age 25
Ht: 5'8"
Wt: >census taker forgot<
B/W/H: 36/24/36
Hand: Depends on what she's doing.
Eyes: Purple.
Skin: Slightly olive-colored (she's still a live human after all)
Hair: Long, strawberry-blonde (almost pink).
Musculature: Well toned and carefully maintained, though she's comely of limb and incredibly feminine, it's been noted that the Grim blood within her grants her immense physical strength and vitality even though she hasn't died yet.

Demeanor: Is actually quite a serious woman, one who was raised with ideals of duty and responsibility pounded into her, alongside the incredibly physical and powerful Grim Wrestling Arts.  As a melee fighter, she is extraordinarily skilled at hand-to-hand and can learn martial arts quite well.  As a necromancer and a witch, her magic seems to grow stronger the angrier she gets, and she can get quite angry VERY easily.

Destined to arise as a Exalted Zombie like all of her kin upon death, and it's practically guaranteed that she'll undergo the Necromorph Transmogrification in an attempt to become a Necromorph as well.


The head of The Harem, she is the only way to begin building The Harem and once established can either remain within the Harem or leave it as an individual.  As a member of the Harem unit, she won't count towards army count and increases the Harem's stats and abilities by her Charisma score.

A cold-hearted bitch who was raised to be the ultimate Queen for the Horde: ruthless, devastating in both beauty and ability, and absolutely loyal to Al and the Horde.  Naturally she chafes around The Beauty, but the two have a kind enough relationship when not publicly feuding.

A powerful woman in her own right who embodies the greatest virtues of the Horde: love, power, strength and secrets.  And as a Grim, she also has the skill and violent intent to keep those secrets safe.

Like all of the Grim clan, she has a promise from the King of Darkness himself that should the Incubi ever return, she'll return to the frontlines and be amongst the first (alongside the entire Grim Clan) to face them in combat.

The Harem

Age: varies
Ht: varies
Wt: varies
B/W/H: varies
Hand: varies
Eyes: varies
Skin: varies
Hair: varies
Musculature: varies

Demeanor: Incredibly loyal to Al, Loa, The Beauty, and The Horde in general.  Only the most beautiful zombies, necromancer humans, witches, and succubi can join this unit.

Description:  The Harem unit itself is a strange amalgam of up to ten different units combined into one, with access to their combined stats (a combined fraction of each unit depending on how many units, from 1/2 up to 1/10 of each unit), abilities, skills, spells and more.  The Harem unit doesn't gain experience points, nor do the individual units gain experience points while in The Harem.  While in The Harem, none of the units count towards total army number, and may even gain special bonuses while having certain named characters in the Harem.

In order to start the Harem unit, you must have Mama Loa "initiate" a unit, then one more.  From that point on the Harem unit can "initiate" any other unit as it sees fit whether or not Loa is there, and "disengaging" all the way down to one will completely get rid of the Harem unit.

Mother and Unborns

Age: ???
Ht: 20'10"
B/W/H: >nonexistent<
Hand: barely there
Eyes: violet, but blank and staring
Skin: pale and slightly blueish-pink at certain places.
Hair: It's been noted that she has strangely reddish hair in a mohawk on top of her tiny head.
Musculature: Nonexistent - she's practically one gigantic castle of flesh.

Demeanor:  Despite her stationary existence, it's been noted by more than a few that the Mother is incredibly loyal to the Horde itself and King Al, and that she apparently petitioned to become the creature that she is now upon undergoing Transmogrification.

Is something of a minor celebrity to the Horde itself, and many come to her to provide entertainment, services, and to ensure her comfort and safety.

During times outside of war, she refuses to birth Unborns due to their nature.  It's rumored that she DOES have one child that is somewhere hidden amongst the UnderRealm, but no one in the high council will admit who it is.


A massive mountain of flesh with an iron underside, the Mother is a freakish mountain of a woman whose features are warped by her very nature.  Almost like a giant castle or tube, she exists to be placed and to spawn Unborns continuously until the end of battle.

While there ARE psionic experts who have checked her over from time to time, it's the strange language of body and form that allows her to communicate to Handjob...who is equally hard to figure since most in the Horde don't understand sign language.

Is generally happy both in and out of battle, even though she herself lacks any mobility whatsoever.  Is more than happy to attack or defend as she can while spawning Unborns (both Infantry and, later, Baby Boomers) and obliterating the enemies of the Horde.

For whatever reason, it's been noted that Makiko Kraze and her share a strange empathy and even something of a friendship.

Individual Units

Zombie Golems - Giant corpses with loincloths, tattered bits of large armors, and mostly use their own fists as weapons, sometimes clubs made of tree trunks.

Necromorph - Any unit can become a Necromorph, and this does little other than adding a black tint to their aura.

Infantry - Tiny undead babies, like evil cherubs (complete with tiny, shriveled wings with flesh instead of feathers)

Succubi - Excessively beautiful female creatures dressed in lingerie and/or armor pieces, normally using swords or knives as weaponry.  If it wasn't for the lingerie they'd look like any other normal human.

Witch - Cloth armors, they bear the large pointy hats of their station and specialize in staves and clubs.

Ghoul Girls - Ghoul Girls are noteworthy for being able to wear leather armors or cloth armors, the only other unit in the game that can use mining helmets, and are able to use shields, swords, two-handed swords or spears.

Vampire - Hand-to-hand artists that can also use swords, they dress in old victorian style of gentlemen.  Frock coats, top hats, that kind of thing.

Wormlings - They're giant worms. ;3

Wormlord - They're even larger worms with a crown on top of their "head" near the maw.

Mutations - Much like Necromorphs, except the tint to their aura is blue.

Doctors - These units wear lab coats and bondage gear underneath.  Almost always wears gigantic goggles and can utilize scalpels (knives, basically).

Plague Doctors - The doctors upon upgrading can trade the white lab coats, don the black coat, plague mask, and top hat of their new job and may now also wield giant syringes as weaponry.

Necromancers - Robes and light/cloth armor is the name of the game here.  Necromancers always have the hood up, something about their code demands this.  They utilize staves and clubs, as well as knives.

Baby Boomers - like Infantry, only they also have dynamite strapped to their chest.  Doom babbies.

Soulsuckers - The succubi grows horns, becomes more voluptuous and may even gain a diaphanous, almost transparent robe.  They also grow wings at this point.

Zombies - Zombies in general are decayed humanoids.  Zombies normally have the stats and abilities they had when they were alive, and can range in what they can wear just as much.


Werewolf - wolf-like creatures with pants and a giant belt strapped across their chest.  Hand-to-hand specialists who can also dual wield swords, shields, or any combination of the two.
Catgirl - cat-like creatures that dress in tight shirts (plenty of midriff), tight shorts with thigh-high boots and have high mobility.  While they prefer hand-to-hand (their own claws), they can use a variety of weaponry from knives to swords to thrown weapons to even two-handed swords and spears.
Alien - A strange combination of alien DNA and zombies, the creature is humanoid save for tentacles for legs and arms and they now have the bulbous, giant helmet of an alien.
Gloried - Much like a zombie except now they can wear leather armors as well as cloth armor, and their looks are slightly improved.
Exalted - Much like a zombie except they can now wield empowered armors and weaponry.
Battle - Like Zombies only they can wear advanced armors, weaponry, and seem WAY more solid than normal Zombies.  As they should since Battle Zombies are as powerful as it gets for zombiedom.


  1. Big guy you must have been tired because at the end of this post everything is all meshed together. So fix it so I can read about your characters

    1. That, my dear, would be the Blogspots fault. :/ Fixed by re-adding it to the Compose section instead of Edit HTML lol.

      It's done this to my boot-shaped poems too, each time.

  2. I love the description of the king - liquid sex poured into a graceful form. Where do I sign up?

    Also, Cat Butt might be serious about sex, but I could never be serious about having sex with anyone who called themselves Cat Butt. Kind of a mood killer. Unless she looks like a goddess. Then, well, she could call herself Cat Shit for all I care.

    Great list of characters.

    1. LOL that's pretty much the entirety of the Horde. Almost rhymes with "whore," y'know? I'm fairly certain their national anthem is a porno track.

      LOL from what I'm thinkin' most (except for her brother) would just call her "Cat." Pretty much every Horde member is a study of aesthetic beauty, so I reckon she WOULD look like a goddess to anyone else outside of their country.

      Besides, all that acrobatic flexibility.

      Thanks, m'man! Next comes the BIG one for me, the Krieg Army.

      I can only hope that they are truly as badassed and overpoweringly brutal as I hype them up to be, y'know?