Monday, April 2, 2012

Ode to my local IHOP (that closed down)

Y'know, sometimes I intentionally write bad prose on purpose. Hell these aren't even structured properly for an Ode, but meh - whatever. I like 'em, think they're funny, and worthy enough to be shared.

I might be wrong, but I think I'm right on this 'un. Lemme know what ya think, as always, at the usual spots.

Once, I couldn't walk. Once, I was immobilized.

Once, my soul was in constant pain and broken to bits, my pride gone.

But you.


During the time of intense pain, through the humiliation of physical training, you were there for me.

With peppery breakfast sausages and a new delectable plate each month, with your delicious coffee (oh god, how I remember you so well!) and your excellent service.

We would sit there for hours afterward, drinking coffee and happily digesting, playing cards and enjoying the view from the tables we chose, the outside a wonderful thing.

We would bring our friends and make a happy ruckus, buying plate after plate of tasty goodies.

I and my darling would talk of you to others, and tell random strangers on the street of your fields of splendor, your palate-pleasing taste sensations.

Oh god, it's because of you I can't have syrup unless it's hot.

Oh god, it's because of you I put syrup and honey in my coffee.

But you.


You had to leave us, didn't you? You had to shut down.

Is it the economy? Was it corruption? Could it have been an act of God?

It doesn't matter. You were there for me during a time when I needed you.

You were perfect, you were necessary, you healed me.

You delighted us, you delighted me.

And sometimes, that's enough. You had a good run, and I will always remember you with kindness.

With fondness.

Even as my darling has left me, even as my body regrows in strength and pride, even as I glue back the pieces of my soul I will always have a special place for you in my heart.

Where your breakfast sausages will always sizzle with peppery goodness, your bacon with a clean and delectable taste, and your hot syrup always perfectly poured over some new creation.

Perfection forever.

For the record, hot syrup really did blow my fucking mind. I haven't been to either Denny's or an IHOP restaurant since...god, last year. Nine or ten months ago, methinks. Suffice it to say I order it that way no matter where I go, and the IHOP I'm speakin' of closed down nigh on a year and a half ago. Sigh. The memories. The hot syrup.


  1. Well written as always, and I could almost "see" that particular phase you went through with their help! Always looking forward to your next pieces my inspired picasso of words! Keep them coming!

    1. Y'know, it's interesting to realize how important such a thing WAS to me at the time. That we'd always have this particular IHOP just there for us, y'know? Go through pain, get peppery breakfast sausage and hot syrup afterwards.

      And always with something new to look forward to - I did physical training at home during the time, but it never "pushed" me the way the therapists did.

      And NOW you're making me blush, darlin'! "inspired picasso of words" indeed...can I quote you on that? 'Cuz I'm gonna quote you on that.