A Parody of One More Day

Because writing plotlines and stories for comic books is hard, right guys?  Y'know, like how NO ONE in the Marvel universe can save an old woman who is ready to die from dying due to a gunshot wound.

Yeah.  'Cuz Dr. Strange doesn't have contacts with omnipotent beings whose sole purpose is to help humanity ALONGSIDE WITH BEING A SURGEON, or Elixir with the healing powers, and...y'know what?  Fuck it.

Deal with the devil.  Abort the baby.  Because the author is to Spiderman story writing and plot what Rob Lefield is to art.

SPOILER: ROB LEFIELD CANNOT DRAW.

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Mephisto Went Down to New York
(sung to "The Devil Went Down To Georgia")
by That Bastard and Nyara


Mephisto went down to New York
He was lookin' for a fetus to kill
He was in a bind, 'cuz he was way behind
And he was willin' to make a deal
When he spotted a scientist in his lab
Playin' wit' a spider and makin' it HOT
Then Mephisto came down with Mary Jane
and said "Boy, lemme tell you what!
I bet you didn't know it but I'm a supervill too
I bet your baby, c'mon don't say maybe, that I'm better than you!

"Well I'm Peter Parker, and I'll accept your dare
But in the name of Science fame, you'd better stay aware!"

Parker get yer suit on, and put in yer contacts
'Cuz Hell's let loose in New York, and it's full of Mephisto's contracts
And if you win, your legacy will burn forevermore
But if you lose, your baby he'll abooooort

Mephisto opened up his case and said "It's time Auntie Mae"
and fire flew from his fingertips as he began his play
As the gunshot flew out, the bullet made an evil hiss
and a band of demons danced, and it sounded somethin' like this...

(Riverdance tune)

Now Parker sat back and said, "Well yer pretty good ol' son
But let's see what there can be of a healer when I'm done"

He called, "ANYWHERE IN OUT ALL OF MARVEL
THIS DUEL WITH THE DEVIL STRAIGHT FROM HELL
A HEALER ANYWHERE IN THIS 'VERSE
MY MARRIAGE'S IN TROUBLE, THE STORY'S WORSE

Mephisto roared with delight as he'd known that he'd won
And in the next moment Mae arose, the wound all undone
Parker cried, "Hey 'Phisto, y'all can come back again
I done told you once, you sonuvabitch, a divorce is all that could've been"

He called, "ANYWHERE IN OUT ALL OF MARVEL
THIS DUEL WITH THE DEVIL STRAIGHT FROM HELL
IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THIS HOUSE?
THE AUTHOR'S IN TROUBLE, BAIL HIM OUT

WHERE HAS TABOO - WHATEVER GONE? WHY IS IT GONE?!

Because I've done "final" (ish) edits to it and am now exercising my right to sell it wherever the hell I damn well please.

Now that you've calmed down a little, Dear Reader, perhaps I can get you some tea?  Okay.  Okay, obviously we DO need to talk a little though.

Some of you, ESPECIALLY those closest to me, know of my efforts in the past year at several projects.  This one is just one of those, the writing and eventually serialization and sale-ification (yes, it's a word.  I just made it up.  Right now.  It's a word if I made it up, I'm a freakin' artist apparently) of The Generalist series you've grown to love and cuddle up to.

So yeap, it's that time.  After re-editing a FINAL final time, re-packaging and improving on the manuscript, I've finally got it up and ready to sell on Kindle (though do give me OOOOOONE last revision, since I'm preparing it for Smashwords as well and I want to use that format for Kindle), but there's a few issues going down.

For one, there's that Smashwords format of programming/writing I want to bring to Kindle.

Secondly, it's currently stuck at $2.99 though I lowered the price to $1.50, and when it comes time to pop Taboo 1 up for sale, I'll raise the price of Taboo 0 and sell Taboo 1 at $1.50, same with all other Taboos from now on.

Whenever an episode goes up for sale, they gotta come down here and you get this message with a link to buy and sample.

I'll still continue to post the unedited/lightly edited/raw manuscripts up here, and then later on give them the same treatment.  This way you can sample what it's going to be before you buy, a system I believe in highly.  BUT, I AM trusting you guys, y'knowwhatImean?

This is the honor system: you can accept the crappy-edited version of these stories and not pay, or pay what amounts to less than a cup of coffee (in some places) and receive a polished version full of proper grammar, little writing tidbits, and slightly more content.  I'm willing to believe in youse guys, and those who can't afford squat but are perfectly happy to retweet my tweets and repost my posts at Faecbawks.

Of course this might change depending on customer performance...we'll see.

In the meantime, that's what's up and I'm stickin' to it!

So, you want to check out my Amazong link and stuff?  I gotta point out that it's not up for sale yet inexactly...but who am I to stop you from buying a slightly older, less edited version for $2.99?

Buy The Generalist - Taboo 0: Cliché of Memories here:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Generalist-Clich%C3%A9-Memories-ebook/dp/B009F7K5U4

The jacket cover was done by myself (my hand, dontcha know~!) and the ever-lovin' Jade herself over at jadedshots.blogspot.com, and we're pretty much gonna do ALL the covers like that.  Gloved hands, brass knuckles, coffee mugs, and the Hooligan mean-face logo.

tl;dr - LOL I'M SELLIN' OUT, SO THIS PART HAS BEEN COMPILED AND RECODIFIED WITH THE REST FOR MASS CONSUMPTION!  SOCCER MOMS ARE GOING TO SCHLICK OVER MY STUFF NOW, KTHXBAI! #TheNewTwilight #Platitudes #Hashtag

WHERE HAS TABOO - WHATEVER GONE? WHY IS IT GONE?!

Because I've done "final" (ish) edits to it and am now exercising my right to sell it wherever the hell I damn well please.

Now that you've calmed down a little, Dear Reader, perhaps I can get you some tea?  Okay.  Okay, obviously we DO need to talk a little though.

Some of you, ESPECIALLY those closest to me, know of my efforts in the past year at several projects.  This one is just one of those, the writing and eventually serialization and sale-ification (yes, it's a word.  I just made it up.  Right now.  It's a word if I made it up, I'm a freakin' artist apparently) of The Generalist series you've grown to love and cuddle up to.

So yeap, it's that time.  After re-editing a FINAL final time, re-packaging and improving on the manuscript, I've finally got it up and ready to sell on Kindle (though do give me OOOOOONE last revision, since I'm preparing it for Smashwords as well and I want to use that format for Kindle), but there's a few issues going down.

For one, there's that Smashwords format of programming/writing I want to bring to Kindle.

Secondly, it's currently stuck at $2.99 though I lowered the price to $1.50, and when it comes time to pop Taboo 1 up for sale, I'll raise the price of Taboo 0 and sell Taboo 1 at $1.50, same with all other Taboos from now on.

Whenever an episode goes up for sale, they gotta come down here and you get this message with a link to buy and sample.

I'll still continue to post the unedited/lightly edited/raw manuscripts up here, and then later on give them the same treatment.  This way you can sample what it's going to be before you buy, a system I believe in highly.  BUT, I AM trusting you guys, y'knowwhatImean?

This is the honor system: you can accept the crappy-edited version of these stories and not pay, or pay what amounts to less than a cup of coffee (in some places) and receive a polished version full of proper grammar, little writing tidbits, and slightly more content.  I'm willing to believe in youse guys, and those who can't afford squat but are perfectly happy to retweet my tweets and repost my posts at Faecbawks.

Of course this might change depending on customer performance...we'll see.

In the meantime, that's what's up and I'm stickin' to it!

So, you want to check out my Amazong link and stuff?  I gotta point out that it's not up for sale yet inexactly...but who am I to stop you from buying a slightly older, less edited version for $2.99?

Buy The Generalist - Taboo 0: Cliché of Memories here:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Generalist-Clich%C3%A9-Memories-ebook/dp/B009F7K5U4

The jacket cover was done by myself (my hand, dontcha know~!) and the ever-lovin' Jade herself over at jadedshots.blogspot.com, and we're pretty much gonna do ALL the covers like that.  Gloved hands, brass knuckles, coffee mugs, and the Hooligan mean-face logo.

tl;dr - LOL I'M SELLIN' OUT, SO THIS PART HAS BEEN COMPILED AND RECODIFIED WITH THE REST FOR MASS CONSUMPTION!  SOCCER MOMS ARE GOING TO SCHLICK OVER MY STUFF NOW, KTHXBAI! #TheNewTwilight #Platitudes #Hashtag

WHERE HAS TABOO - WHATEVER GONE? WHY IS IT GONE?!

Because I've done "final" (ish) edits to it and am now exercising my right to sell it wherever the hell I damn well please.

Now that you've calmed down a little, Dear Reader, perhaps I can get you some tea?  Okay.  Okay, obviously we DO need to talk a little though.

Some of you, ESPECIALLY those closest to me, know of my efforts in the past year at several projects.  This one is just one of those, the writing and eventually serialization and sale-ification (yes, it's a word.  I just made it up.  Right now.  It's a word if I made it up, I'm a freakin' artist apparently) of The Generalist series you've grown to love and cuddle up to.

So yeap, it's that time.  After re-editing a FINAL final time, re-packaging and improving on the manuscript, I've finally got it up and ready to sell on Kindle (though do give me OOOOOONE last revision, since I'm preparing it for Smashwords as well and I want to use that format for Kindle), but there's a few issues going down.

For one, there's that Smashwords format of programming/writing I want to bring to Kindle.

Secondly, it's currently stuck at $2.99 though I lowered the price to $1.50, and when it comes time to pop Taboo 1 up for sale, I'll raise the price of Taboo 0 and sell Taboo 1 at $1.50, same with all other Taboos from now on.

Whenever an episode goes up for sale, they gotta come down here and you get this message with a link to buy and sample.

I'll still continue to post the unedited/lightly edited/raw manuscripts up here, and then later on give them the same treatment.  This way you can sample what it's going to be before you buy, a system I believe in highly.  BUT, I AM trusting you guys, y'knowwhatImean?

This is the honor system: you can accept the crappy-edited version of these stories and not pay, or pay what amounts to less than a cup of coffee (in some places) and receive a polished version full of proper grammar, little writing tidbits, and slightly more content.  I'm willing to believe in youse guys, and those who can't afford squat but are perfectly happy to retweet my tweets and repost my posts at Faecbawks.

Of course this might change depending on customer performance...we'll see.

In the meantime, that's what's up and I'm stickin' to it!

So, you want to check out my Amazong link and stuff?  I gotta point out that it's not up for sale yet inexactly...but who am I to stop you from buying a slightly older, less edited version for $2.99?

Buy The Generalist - Taboo 0: Cliché of Memories here:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Generalist-Clich%C3%A9-Memories-ebook/dp/B009F7K5U4

The jacket cover was done by myself (my hand, dontcha know~!) and the ever-lovin' Jade herself over at jadedshots.blogspot.com, and we're pretty much gonna do ALL the covers like that.  Gloved hands, brass knuckles, coffee mugs, and the Hooligan mean-face logo.

tl;dr - LOL I'M SELLIN' OUT, SO THIS PART HAS BEEN COMPILED AND RECODIFIED WITH THE REST FOR MASS CONSUMPTION!  SOCCER MOMS ARE GOING TO SCHLICK OVER MY STUFF NOW, KTHXBAI! #TheNewTwilight #Platitudes #Hashtag

WHERE HAS TABOO - WHATEVER GONE? WHY IS IT GONE?!

Because I've done "final" (ish) edits to it and am now exercising my right to sell it wherever the hell I damn well please.

Now that you've calmed down a little, Dear Reader, perhaps I can get you some tea?  Okay.  Okay, obviously we DO need to talk a little though.

Some of you, ESPECIALLY those closest to me, know of my efforts in the past year at several projects.  This one is just one of those, the writing and eventually serialization and sale-ification (yes, it's a word.  I just made it up.  Right now.  It's a word if I made it up, I'm a freakin' artist apparently) of The Generalist series you've grown to love and cuddle up to.

So yeap, it's that time.  After re-editing a FINAL final time, re-packaging and improving on the manuscript, I've finally got it up and ready to sell on Kindle (though do give me OOOOOONE last revision, since I'm preparing it for Smashwords as well and I want to use that format for Kindle), but there's a few issues going down.

For one, there's that Smashwords format of programming/writing I want to bring to Kindle.

Secondly, it's currently stuck at $2.99 though I lowered the price to $1.50, and when it comes time to pop Taboo 1 up for sale, I'll raise the price of Taboo 0 and sell Taboo 1 at $1.50, same with all other Taboos from now on.

Whenever an episode goes up for sale, they gotta come down here and you get this message with a link to buy and sample.

I'll still continue to post the unedited/lightly edited/raw manuscripts up here, and then later on give them the same treatment.  This way you can sample what it's going to be before you buy, a system I believe in highly.  BUT, I AM trusting you guys, y'knowwhatImean?

This is the honor system: you can accept the crappy-edited version of these stories and not pay, or pay what amounts to less than a cup of coffee (in some places) and receive a polished version full of proper grammar, little writing tidbits, and slightly more content.  I'm willing to believe in youse guys, and those who can't afford squat but are perfectly happy to retweet my tweets and repost my posts at Faecbawks.

Of course this might change depending on customer performance...we'll see.

In the meantime, that's what's up and I'm stickin' to it!

So, you want to check out my Amazong link and stuff?  I gotta point out that it's not up for sale yet inexactly...but who am I to stop you from buying a slightly older, less edited version for $2.99?

Buy The Generalist - Taboo 0: Cliché of Memories here:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Generalist-Clich%C3%A9-Memories-ebook/dp/B009F7K5U4

The jacket cover was done by myself (my hand, dontcha know~!) and the ever-lovin' Jade herself over at jadedshots.blogspot.com, and we're pretty much gonna do ALL the covers like that.  Gloved hands, brass knuckles, coffee mugs, and the Hooligan mean-face logo.

tl;dr - LOL I'M SELLIN' OUT, SO THIS PART HAS BEEN COMPILED AND RECODIFIED WITH THE REST FOR MASS CONSUMPTION!  SOCCER MOMS ARE GOING TO SCHLICK OVER MY STUFF NOW, KTHXBAI! #TheNewTwilight #Platitudes #Hashtag

WHERE HAS TABOO - WHATEVER GONE? WHY IS IT GONE?!

Because I've done "final" (ish) edits to it and am now exercising my right to sell it wherever the hell I damn well please.

Now that you've calmed down a little, Dear Reader, perhaps I can get you some tea?  Okay.  Okay, obviously we DO need to talk a little though.

Some of you, ESPECIALLY those closest to me, know of my efforts in the past year at several projects.  This one is just one of those, the writing and eventually serialization and sale-ification (yes, it's a word.  I just made it up.  Right now.  It's a word if I made it up, I'm a freakin' artist apparently) of The Generalist series you've grown to love and cuddle up to.

So yeap, it's that time.  After re-editing a FINAL final time, re-packaging and improving on the manuscript, I've finally got it up and ready to sell on Kindle (though do give me OOOOOONE last revision, since I'm preparing it for Smashwords as well and I want to use that format for Kindle), but there's a few issues going down.

For one, there's that Smashwords format of programming/writing I want to bring to Kindle.

Secondly, it's currently stuck at $2.99 though I lowered the price to $1.50, and when it comes time to pop Taboo 1 up for sale, I'll raise the price of Taboo 0 and sell Taboo 1 at $1.50, same with all other Taboos from now on.

Whenever an episode goes up for sale, they gotta come down here and you get this message with a link to buy and sample.

I'll still continue to post the unedited/lightly edited/raw manuscripts up here, and then later on give them the same treatment.  This way you can sample what it's going to be before you buy, a system I believe in highly.  BUT, I AM trusting you guys, y'knowwhatImean?

This is the honor system: you can accept the crappy-edited version of these stories and not pay, or pay what amounts to less than a cup of coffee (in some places) and receive a polished version full of proper grammar, little writing tidbits, and slightly more content.  I'm willing to believe in youse guys, and those who can't afford squat but are perfectly happy to retweet my tweets and repost my posts at Faecbawks.

Of course this might change depending on customer performance...we'll see.

In the meantime, that's what's up and I'm stickin' to it!

So, you want to check out my Amazong link and stuff?  I gotta point out that it's not up for sale yet inexactly...but who am I to stop you from buying a slightly older, less edited version for $2.99?

Buy The Generalist - Taboo 0: Cliché of Memories here:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Generalist-Clich%C3%A9-Memories-ebook/dp/B009F7K5U4

The jacket cover was done by myself (my hand, dontcha know~!) and the ever-lovin' Jade herself over at jadedshots.blogspot.com, and we're pretty much gonna do ALL the covers like that.  Gloved hands, brass knuckles, coffee mugs, and the Hooligan mean-face logo.

tl;dr - LOL I'M SELLIN' OUT, SO THIS PART HAS BEEN COMPILED AND RECODIFIED WITH THE REST FOR MASS CONSUMPTION!  SOCCER MOMS ARE GOING TO SCHLICK OVER MY STUFF NOW, KTHXBAI! #TheNewTwilight #Platitudes #Hashtag

WARNING: THE BIGGEST POST I'VE EVER MADE COMIN' ATCHA!

Yeap.  All five parts of The Generalist's first, uh...story?...thing.  Taboo 0: Cliché of Memories, which is NOT Taboo 1: Where's The Beef?

Because I do nothing simple, what was supposed to be a 9-page short story apparently turned into a 31-page thing.  1 week, 31 pages as edited as I ever can make 'em, all spell-checked and what-not.

Hey, if'n ya wanna edit and yerself and hook it up, feel free - all I ask is that you lemme see it first before we both post it, y'know?

31 pages, jesus freakin'...suffice it to say, THIS is why I haven't done anything else lately.  What's even worse, I have projects backin' up (The Hooligans, Project: Boyfriend, the blogs, etcetera) but my muse is already whuppin' my ass to get Taboo 1 started.

And yeah.  Beef.  BEEF.  BEEEEEF.

So anyway, time to show what's up.  I haven't written like this in, geez...years.  I'm even probably sure to piss off a person or two, but I'm fairly certain y'all will find it entertaining.

I entreat you to be as brutally honest as possible about it - does it suck?  Does it remind you of stuff?  Do you wanna claim that my homages and shoutouts aren't either homage or shoutouts but rather blatant rip-off?  Speak on it in the comment section.

But do read it, and lemme know what you think.

Sincerely,

~That Bastard

P.S. - Head over to youtube.com/thedamnhooligans and subscribe.  We'll be able to post up our one-hour podcasts as soon as we get enough subscribers (uh, what...15-30?  Somethin' like that) and Youtube let's us, but in the meantime head over to http://kaospartyradio.blogspot.com and check 'em out. :D  Vidyuh games, angry dudes screamin' loud...what's not to love?

EDIT: Apparently at font size 12, it's 39 pages.  Sorry.  I lied.  LOL.

I wonder how many of you forgot I write with the pen name of J or JDW...

Untitled 4

Don't ask, 'cuz I won't tell. <3
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I can hear it still, the fine music
The song of the day, as it plays
A song carved of sweet memory
And of bitterest cacao, this day
Sweetest balsamic, sweet as sin
And of the tea we drank that day
The tea she saw through, purest amber

I can hear it still, the sweet music
The cool, cold wind, yet never bitter
Only bittersweet, the sea air blowing
Blowing through our hair, her smile
Blowing through us, through our souls
And everything I wanted to tell her
Was right there, right there, glinting

I can hear it still, unforgettable
The music of her laughter that rang true
Of today, of today, always
And the taste of her lips, her flesh
The warmth of her close to me, in my arms
And of the sea, never cooling our ardor
But banked, always and ever smoldering